Wow. It is has been about 3 months since my last entry?! Where have I been?! Well, I have a good news to share....
I'M PREGNANT!!! (unplanned pregnancy though)
Initially I was feeling all weird, especially with 24/7 tiredness, feeling nauseated while driving! No appetite for food, no feel for wine even if it is in front of me. I decided to do a urine test on my birthday, 31st August. And its truely a birthday gift.
Frankly, I was not ready for it at all, everyone around me was so happy except myself. Many thoughts ran through my mind.. my freedom! Heels! Nice clothes! Raw food! Alcohol! These are the things I have to abstain from. It is so hard to accept because I am only less than a year into marriage life and a little one is coming.
I went through a lot these 2-3 months. I do not know whether it happens to other mothers. Either they had it worst or better. But what I do know is that my situation was bad. At least in my opinion.
After I knew I was pregnant, somehow symptoms starts to get worst. It really might be psychological but I could not control it. I was vomiting like crazy. Every morning I woke up with a discomfort feeling in my gastric. I could not eat as usual. Even if I am hungry, I was nauseated at the same time. This might also be due to my underlying gastric problem. I tried a lot of medications.. methods just to avoid nausea and gastric pains. I could not take maxalon during the day as I was working. In fact, I tried twice and ended up being very drowsy at work. and.. the feeling SUX. I tried taking ondansetron thereafter. It works for awhile! and guess what! it gave me serious constipation problems! I was so down during the month of sept and oct. Even had thoughts of aborting the baby because the discomfort was really unbearable and also wanted to give up my job and school because I do not want people to judge me when I feel sick at work (sick in terms of vomiting and gastric pains AND fatigue) or not doing my part in school work. Really felt very unproductive and a sickling during these 2-3 months.
I got so many comments during this period of time, one of which that i could not forget was " your symptoms seems to get worst after you know you are pregnant." This, really hurt me .... A LOT. because you are not pregnant, you DO NOT know what I am going through. Even now when I am writing this, it makes me tear, It is like, hello? do you think i want to go through this? Why do you have to say such things. I also have people who purposely impose stress. Is either on purpose or they have very low EQ. Sigh. While on the other hand, I have people who are more understanding and I know who you are, and I feel very appreciative about it. Thank you guys.
Vomiting symptoms is getting better during the end of October but I still get indigestions every now and then. Gaviscon is really really good. Symptoms are really 80% better now? With random times of vomit.
What a journey, I do love my kid more now that is because I feel less sick. HAHA. Frankly, I am not a kid person yet, and I cannot imagine myself to put my child first before anything else...
I am going to see my gynae coming monday and by then I will know its gender! (I hope!)
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